To Believe
by Saki K
Summary: Tell me, Niisan, what is the truth? [itasasu, uchihacest]
1. Chapter 1

If you're rereading this don't get confused, I just stuck my second chapter along with my first, now, read on! Itasasuyes.

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_Believe in nothing. Trust no one._

_Two people. So many lies._

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7-year-old Uchiha Sasuke, upon seeing his older brother, would run up to him smiling, and giving him a hug, no matter how much blood was on Itachi's body.

12-year-old Uchiha Sasuke, upon seeing his older brother, would run up to him, Chidori at hand, with full intentions to kill.

Things change drastically over the years.

But now, Sasuke is neither seven nor twelve, he's sixteen years old. He's changed, leaving Otogakure right before he was fifteen, killing Kabuto and fleeing from Orochimaru. And now, when he sees Itachi again for the first time in three years, he doesn't rage or curse and try to kill in vain. He doesn't smile or show any form of affection, he hasn't for a long time. Sasuke merely walks towards Itachi, prepared, calm and waiting for him to make a move.

"Show me how much you've improved." Itachi says, emotionless as always.

_Gladly._ He's been gone for so long. Sasuke can hardly remember Konoha, his past, the place he once called home. He could no longer remember his classmates, Sakura's hair had dulled over the years he'd been gone. Memories of the Uchiha Estate were scattered and unfocused. And Itachi... He hadn't heard his voice, hadn't seen his face, for so long. The impassive tone, his black hair, which had grown even more over three years, Sasuke doubt that Itachi even cut it. But he could clearly remember Itachi's eyes. Those deep, red unreadable eyes, they never left his mind for a moment.

Itachi looks over the young man in front of him. The boy had grown, more muscle, taller, and... Itachi's eyes showed off the merest bit of amusement. _Still as feminine looking as ever. _

Without a sound Sasuke disappears and reappears right behind Itachi, the cold back of a kunai pressing against his throat. Signaling they were to start, and with that their fight began. As their kunais clashed and justu attacked, Sasuke immediately saw that, even though he's gotten much stronger, so has Itachi.

Itachi was merciless in the end. Sasuke is improving, but at a far slower pace than he would like. "Still too weak, Sasuke." Itachi says quietly, almost wearily.

"I** will** kill you."

"I am aware, but when? It's almost as if you don't want to kill me." Itachi tilts Sasuke's chin, thumb wiping the trickling blood away. "You're the only one who can do it. The only one."

Itachi left, leaving a tattered Sasuke feeling bitter and slightly defeated. But then, he knew that he wouldn't be killing his brother this time round, he'd just hoped to match up to Itachi, just a little. He always leaves Itachi disappointed, and after all these years, he still couldn't help but want to make his older brother proud by fulfilling his wishes. _Why does he want to die?_ But of course he went and did what Itachi wanted without question. Itachi always had a reason, a reason he never bothers to tell Sasuke and that's why Sasuke doesn't ask him anymore.

He stood up with difficulty. His blood has dried and he reaches a hand up to pick it off. Sasuke will kill him, he needs to, or Itachi would be disappointed again. He hates seeing the disappointed face of Itachi. Despite the fact he killed everyone, despite all of it. It was his brother's last wish and he intends on fulfilling it.

_Train more. That's what I need to do. _Sasuke sighs and lays back down against the tree trunk and on the blood-soaked grass, intent on some rest.

_The only one..._

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"_Nii-san, you'll always love me, right?"_

"_What a foolish question. I'll always love you Otouto. Always."_

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Sasuke opens his eyes. The same dream again. After so many years, the words that Itachi had said that day still replays inside his mind over and over again. Did he really mean it? Was this before he planned the deaths of their parents? Sasuke had too many questions and no answers. It was frustrating.

He stands up, pushing himself off of the tree he was leaning on and starts to walk. It's an illusion. He tells himself. His words, they mean nothing. Yet he still couldn't brush off the slight uncertainty inside him.

So he trains. He trains really hard. But everything that he does is robotic, he's making an effort but he's not improving at all, and Sasuke knows this. But there's nothing he can do, no way can he stop because... it's all he knows how to do.

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Hatake Kakashi rushes back from his mission, stopping abruptly as he hears the distant yelling of someone familiar. The silver-haired Jounin turns toward the voice, jumping swiftly from tree to tree.

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"S-Sasuke?"

Sasuke wheels around, seeing a shocked sharingan eye."Kakashi..."

He smiles behind his mask, "You've grown." He commented, making light conversation.

"Ah... and you've grown... old...er."Kakashi laughs.

"So, I don't suppose you'll ever come back."

"You know I can't." Sasuke's former teacher nods.

Just taking a look at that beautiful face was enough. He decided not to tell Naruto; he'd be all worked up even though the blonde knew Sasuke would never come back.'But... there's something different.' He thinks to himself. Somehow he felt like Sasuke was only pretending to be fine during their short meeting.

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Sasuke punches the unlucky tree nearest to him, smashing a hole through the trunk. Kakashi. One of the only people he wouldn't mind seeing again. He takes a deep breath and tries to concentrate on his training, taking out a few scrolls that he'd stolen from Orochimaru before he fled. After killing Itachi, he'd be free. Kill Itachi and see his old friends again, Kakashi, Naruto... and then his other mission, to revive his clan...

Sasuke stops in the middle of throwing a kunai. Could he? He couldn't imagine going back to Konohagakure and be accepted there, not after he'd betrayed them. Or maybe marrying Sakura and having children; he was a wanted criminal after all. But a better question was, would he? He couldn't visualize just settling back and doing all these things that he said he'd do. Plus, Sakura must have realized by now that there were great shinobi around that were deeply in love with her and Sasuke would not be needed. She wasn't stupid; she could find someone so much better than Sasuke and she probably knew that the amount of love she gives him isn't worth it.

After all this thinking, Sasuke comes to the puzzling conclusion: What will he do after Itachi is dead? After his life's goal is achieved, where will he be? He's never thought about it, but now since the question is inside his head, he's becoming anxious about his future.But then, it was just these kinds of thoughts that kept Sasuke from training and achieving. He would worry about all that after his brother is gone. He has to put Itachi's wish, and his revenge, first.

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Sasuke's eyes snap open as a kunai is thrown at him. He wheels around, seeing a sliver-haired man with glasses. The last time he'd seen those glasses was back in Orochimaru's lair and they had been covered in blood. 'He's alive?'"K...Kabuto?"

Kabuto smirked. "I think it's time you came back... Sasuke-kun."

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Reviews please

Now... I moved my rant down to the bottom so that people didn't need to read it…

I haven't felt like writing for such a long time... I tried reading some PWPs, and have to say... THEY SICKEN me. They make me want to gag and everything, it's kind of weird since I did and probably will write that stuff, not as strong, perhaps, I like fics with a storyline before they jump to the mindless sex. Looking at all of these new Itasasu fics I feel they lack originality. Using the same words applied when someone's in ecstasy, every porn fic is the same.

My assumptions were right, if there are no smutty scenes, your stories get less reviews, but I found that out in a few of my last fics. But I don't mind, really, because when I write these, I feel good about myself, proud of my descriptions that are at least somewhat different from others (not much though, the good ideas are always taken. . ) and the reviews are longer and people are giving me real support with suggestions and inspirations. I'm not implying that smut isn't good. I absolutely love itasasu and well, smut. It makes me giggle like a mindless fangirl. I admit it. It's just that we have no imagination and all ideas are used so many times, and when you've read itasasu for so long, you'll get sick of it. This is why I love the older fics from years ago, when it just came out. It's hard to get on my favourite authors list. Right, I won't go on more with my rant and let you read the rest of the story. I love you all.

-Saki


	2. Chapter 2

Hey I updated quite quickly mm? Well, that's because I started this chapter before chapter two  
It was meant to be a one-shot, but soon I realized that it could connect to the actual story and made it so. The following chapter is **Sasuke's past**, when he was seven and loved Itachi.

This will be made into a one-shot elsewhere.

Disclaimers: I own nothing.

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To Believe  
Chapter III

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Young Sasuke, who was wearing nothing but his shorts this warm morning, walked through the tall grass of his backyard, enjoying the rustling sound they made when he treaded through them and the dew that felt cool against his bare feet. Okaa-san had said the night before that Itachi would be back this morning, so Sasuke had woken up extra early to be in time to greet his Nii-san.

Kicking away the pebbles that lay at his feet, Sasuke wondered when Itachi will be back, and how he'd look when he does. When Itachi returned after a mission, he was usually covered in blood. The blood was obviously not his own, but Sasuke could always smell the death that clung on to his brother's soiled clothes. And even though his mother would be horrified to see Sasuke covered in blood, the young boy never hesitated to jump up and hug Itachi, blood-soaked or not.

Sasuke gave a small yelp as two slim but well-muscled arms circled around him. A wave of bitter, metallic scent rushed into his nostrils as he was pulled back onto the warm but strangely damp body of his elder brother. Sasuke immediately registered who it was and turned around to meet the embrace.

"How long have you been waiting, Otouto?" Itachi spoke, voice quiet as he stroked the soft skin of Sasuke's exposed waist. Sasuke looked up at his face, noticing again that despite his kills and the amount of blood that got onto his body, Itachi never had anything on his face. This time wasn't any different. Not a speck of blood in sight, which showed how much Itachi cared about his appearance. But Sasuke could see why.

His brother was beautiful, soft brown hair and coal black eyes that could turn deep red into the Sharingan, which Sasuke had yet to develop. Not only that, Itachi was strong. He wasn't a pretty fragile doll; Itachi was stronger than any ninja Sasuke had ever seen.

"Sasuke?" Itachi whispered, shaking Sasuke out of his trance. Sasuke blinked, smiling sweetly at his brother and shook his head.

"Nii-san, you're covered in blood. Shouldn't you take a bath?"

Itachi kissed his forehead, "Not just yet." He said, sitting down on the grass with Sasuke still in his arms. "Go and get our yukata and we'll spend some time outside. If I take a bath now, that means I won't spend as much time with you; I'm leaving later on tonight."

"Oh." Sasuke looked down, a little sad that his Nii-san was leaving again so soon but then realized that Itachi actually wanted to spend time with him. He nodded eagerly and skipped down the wooden pathway into his house, although without the fluid grace and silence of his older brother as he tried his best to keep quiet, stumbling at the doorway.

Itachi watched their mother as she first giggled at Sasuke's clumsiness then questioned the blood. And saw how different yet so painfully alike he and Sasuke were. And he wasn't just thinking about their appearances either; it was obvious that they were brothers. But Sasuke had grown more emotionless and detached these days, more like Itachi. Going to school and then coming straight back, having no friends, no after school activities, and all he would do when he got back was to train. And Itachi didn't want that for his little brother; he wanted Sasuke to live his life the way that he wanted to, not some goal laid out for him from their father. Truthfully, Itachi hated that man. Their father wanted them to be perfect, and because Itachi was this strong, Fugaku shunned his younger brother and acted as if Sasuke wasn't his son. To him, Itachi and Sasuke were objects, possessions. And every time Itachi saw Sasuke looking down because of their father, he became a little less in controlled. He knew how much Sasuke wanted their father's praise, how he always pushed himself just to get a compliment or even just a nod of acknowledgement. Sasuke so desperately wanted Fugaku to acknowledge him, but their father just kept on telling him how he was so weak and always compared him to Itachi. Always telling him how Itachi could do so much better at Sasuke's age, and repeatedly reminding Sasuke of his still inactivated Sharingan, citing that the reason for this was Sasuke's own weakness.

Itachi bit his lip. It wasn't just their father either. It was everyone in the Uchiha Clan. The only reason they were so nice to Itachi was because he was so strong, and they knew he could kill them in the blink of an eye. All the while they acted as if Sasuke didn't exist. They were just like his father, and Itachi hated them. He hated every last one of them. Or, he hated all of them except for his mother. His mother always cared for both him and Sasuke. Their mother saw them as more than just objects. Itachi knew that he didn't want to kill her. But the rest, they deserved to die. He promised to himself that he will kill them, for Sasuke, for himself. And that day was when he planned the massacre of the Uchiha Clan.

At this point, he had yet to realize his true feelings toward his younger brother.  
He stopped thinking about it as Sasuke rushed back in his blue yukata, and with Itachi's black one in his arms. Itachi thanked him silently and started to strip. Sasuke watched and felt relieved that there were no scratches or wounds on his brother's flawless body. Itachi glanced over at him, feeling watched, and Sasuke quickly looked away, blushing a little, but he didn't know why... was it because of the look that Itachi had given him?

Itachi finished dressing himself and motioned for Sasuke to come.

Sasuke walked over to his brother as he sat down; Itachi pulled his hand, making Sasuke lean over him, and then settled Sasuke on his lap. Fingering the soft fabric of Sasuke's yukata, Itachi whispered.

"I'll help you train this afternoon."

Sasuke brightened, "Really?" He felt Itachi nod against him, "Thank you Nii-san!"

The two sat together, looking at nothing in particular, just content with each other and their surroundings. Then a question popped up into Sasuke's head.

"Nii-san?"

"Hm?"

"Do you love me?"

"Of course."

"Always?"

Itachi tightened his embrace around Sasuke's waist.

"What a foolish question. I'll always love you, Otouto. Always."

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TBC

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I have to say, I put a lot of effort and description into this chapter and I'm proud of it. This is definitely one of my favourite pieces and that's probably why I wanted it as a one-shot instead of just a chapter.

Reviews, please?

-Saki


	3. Chapter 3

Third chapter finally up! Took so long didn't it? Really really really sorry 

There should be 1 or 2 more chapters left, I already have the ending planned. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. Too bad.

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**To Believe**

**Chapter III**

It really was Kabuto. Sasuke was getting sick of seeing this man pushing up his glasses all the time. Orochimaru probably saved his slave in the end. Sasuke had no time to check for Kabuto's death before he fled, after all.

Reaching for his waist he grabbed a kunai, lunging for him. Ninja never seem to run out of them, but in reality they always look for them afterwards, from their enemy or ones that they've thrown themselves.

Sasuke soon became impatient with the battle because it was dragging on forever. Not once has Kabuto attacked, merely avoiding, having Sasuke chase after him, farther and farther away from Itachi. However, if Sasuke could defeat Kabuto months ago, he could surely do it again. He finally got fed up and used an explosive curse when he was in range, expecting to find him dead as it was a direct hit. However Sasuke let his guard down, forgetting that Kabuto was strong since he's already defeated him before. The curse backfired, and Sasuke shouted out in pain. Sasuke hardly had time to regain him composure before kunai were thrown at him. He did his best to dodge them in his confused and injured stage, but some met its mark, scraping his cheek and arms, one went into his leg.

However it seemed that Kabuto was badly wounded too. Instead of trying to avoid the attack, he ran up to meet it, closing in to Sasuke and that was why the explosion was closer than Sasuke had anticipated. Perhaps he had hoped that Sasuke would suffer just as greatly as him.

Sasuke stabbed Kabuto's heart a few times, just to make sure that he'd never have to see the man again.

Kabuto was just a pawn, Sasuke realized as he wiped the blood on the grass. An obstacle to keep him from finding Itachi. Orochimaru must be afraid that Sasuke could beat Itachi therefore will never return to him. Either way, Sasuke would never go back there in the first place.

A pawn that got in his way, Sasuke mused. Kill all pawns in his path, in order to get to Itachi, the most important piece of the game.

The pain in his leg was taking him over, but his other injuries hurt almost just as much. Recovery was going to be harder as his old wounds from his brother have yet to fully heal. Sasuke felt weak as he leaned against the tree trunk behind him, hungry, bloody, and slowly he fell unconscious.

In his later years when he recalled this moment Sasuke says to himself that he was merely sleeping and did not, in fact, faint.

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"Kakashi sensei, you're late again!" Naruto said loudly. "We need to go do this mission!"

"Sorry," Kakashi apologized, turning to Sakura, away from the annoying thing that was Naruto. "I took another route…"

"Why would you do that?" She asked him, retying her forehead protector.

Kakashi hesitated. He didn't want to tell them, especially Naruto, but he knew that the two students would both want to hear about Sasuke. Even after three years, they're still willing to forgive their teammate. At the same time, he didn't think it would make any difference because Sasuke was not coming back.

"I saw Sasuke."

He almost winced as Naruto exploded and bombarded him with questions. "What??? Why didn't you bring him back? Where is he now? What did he say? Did he ask about us?"

Kakashi closed his eyes, answering all of Naruto's questions. "He didn't want to come back; he said that he would never come back. That's all I asked him before I left, and…" he sighed. "No, he did not mention you."

Sakura was silent until Naruto started to shout again, thinking. Finally she pushed him over, which was a huge push, blowing him over into a tree, a hundred metres away.

"Should we look for him?" She said quietly. "Or is what we're doing in vain and useless?"

"Well, it was a couple of hours ago, so I doubt he'll still be in the same place…" Kakashi tried to ignore her second question, "but I did see him not far away, he was in the woods between Sound and Waterfall village."

"Yeah!" Naruto came back, looking determined. Let's go find Sasuke!"

Kakashi knew that it was pointless; Naruto's enthusiasm and determination never cease to amaze him. Moreover, he was sure that his students knew as well. But as long as Sasuke was alive, neither of them will give up hope, even if they're hurt in the end.

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Sasuke was sleeping, and he doesn't know for how long. The rain started to beat steadily against his body and he could feel it even though he was not awake.

A warm hand was on Sasuke's cheek, then his arms, brushing away the dried blood that hardened on his skin, easily moved with the flow of the rain. This was all a dream, he told himself, refusing to wake up, but the hand soon became two and the warmth closed over him, making him want to lean into their touch. They traveled down his stomach and onto his legs, one swift movement as the kunai was pulled out of his leg. Sasuke didn't even feel it.

He tried to get up, but he couldn't even open his eyes. Exhaustion had hit him hard and Sasuke could only be limp in the person's hands. He knew he had to open his eyes immediately when he felt lips on top of his. The scent was so familiar he was almost angry with himself for not knowing it. He didn't want to admit that the presence of the person was almost comforting, albeit the panic that was started to collect inside him. Sasuke could feel himself falling away again as a tongue pushed his lips apart. The strong arms, now around his waist, holding him tenderly and Sasuke could feel long and wet locks of hair on his face as the wind blew.

All of a sudden he didn't want to know who the person was, didn't care whether he knows him or not. All he wanted was the heat that was given to him, the affection that was shown. Sasuke didn't want to open his eyes and see someone he completely loathes, he'd rather think of someone he cared for dearly, holding him in the rain.

Who, though?

The sudden question caught him off guard. Who does he care for?

There was team 7… But, Sakura was never really anyone special to him, even though she had loved him. Kakashi. Sasuke liked him, but honestly, he was really just a teacher and maybe even friend.

Naruto… Naruto was his friend. Probably his best friend, yet the hole in his heart was to large of a gap for him to fill.

He refused to admit that it was his brother that he had thought of first.

And he lost himself, in the warm heat of the man over him, sheltering him from the harsh rain. But a second later that warmth was gone, leaving Sasuke all alone once more as he opened his eyes, his body jolted in wanting.

_You belonged to me even before you knew it._

Sasuke woke. His senses felt numb and he could barely recall what had happened, the lingering words stuck to him even though he was unsure if they were truly spoken. Yet even if it was just vaguely, he still remembered being held so protectively and familiarly in someone's arms. Sasuke thought hard. How was it familiar, though? His body yearned the person's touch once more while he desperately tried to remember who the man was.

**TBC**

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Hm, I think I'll have to bump this down to rated T… I can't fit any planned smut in… Oh well, we'll see how this goes.

There. New chapter done, should keep you content for a bit mm? There are many parts I'm not satisfied with, but I'm tired of revising so I'm posting it as it is.

Reviews, yes?

-Saki


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